


misaligned

by clubfluenza



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, I hope you like it, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, i just like writing angst and shit, im sorry, open to interpretations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 15:53:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14335893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clubfluenza/pseuds/clubfluenza
Summary: in which their timelines are misaligned





	misaligned

The first day I saw you when you first transferred into our high school, I was bothered. Really bothered. 

Because it was the first time I actually felt attraction towards someone. And it was frightening, because this force was uncontrollable, and I was slowly but surely gravitating towards you. 

I don't know how, but I managed to squeak out a soft 'hi', but you looked so, so confused, because you were actually doubting whether I was looking at you. Wonwoo, you were the only one I had eyes for. And you're still the only one, even after all this while. 

 

Things went so, so well. I was really starting to doubt whether this was actual reality, because it was so perfect. Your hand, pale and frail, fit so snugly against my calloused and bigger ones. Your eyes and how they wrinkle at the sides, God. You're so beautiful. Don't even get me started on how you're so, so pure and untainted, I thought I was about to break you like a piece of fine china, that could never be replaced. 

I was right about the irreplaceable part, Wonwoo. You're still the only one in my heart. 

 

Suddenly, reality wasn't so beautiful anymore. Darling, you were so, so insecure, even when your beauty was ethereal. You loathed yourself, even when you were the only one that could light up the faces of so many people. You never looked at yourself the same way you looked at your loved ones; with tolerance, with love, with kindness. You hated yourself; your perfect face, your perfect personality, your perfect being. You hated how you were 'never good enough', when in truth you were more than anyone could ever ask for. I tried so hard, Wonwoo, I really tried. I tried so hard to take off that blindfold, and show you how much you shone. 

 

I'm sorry, but I couldn't do it. You were doing so well, we were doing so well. But one jealous person ruined you, on the only day we couldn't go home together because of my basketball practice. She saw right through your insecurities, and she used your love for me, as the ultimate weapon for your destruction. She spewed out lie after lie, making you think about those non-existent imperfections you thought you had, and you immediately built that wall back up again. I should've called you, really, even after the 20 missed calls I'd left. I thought you were asleep, because practice ended so late due to the upcoming tournament, that you promised to watch. Wonwoo, that was the first time you ever broke a promise. And the last. 

 

 

Your mother called me, crying.   
I couldn't bear to see you like that, darling.  
Your lifeless eyes, once filled with so much warmth and affection.   
Your cold hands, once dancing around on my face and hair.   
Your ice-cold nose, once scrunching every time you laughed that laugh of yours.

 

That person.......she was the manifestation of all your insecurities, and I'm so sorry that I couldn't stop this. Stop the negativity pulsing through your mind. Stop the tears from dripping down your porcelain face. Stop the blood from forming a puddle below your lifeless frame. 

 

You were the one thing that rooted me to this world, and I promised to go wherever you were. 

 

I'm coming, darling.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry I just really like writing about loss and angst


End file.
